I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
