i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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