I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
