I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
