god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
