That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
