your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
