I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
