Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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