I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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