problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
