The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
