There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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