We're facebook friends in real life
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
