It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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