i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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