I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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