Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
