living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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