why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
