I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize