you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
