found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
