You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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