I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize