So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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