I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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