I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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