He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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