I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
