What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
