Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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