my sisters under your porch take her home
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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