I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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