Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
