i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Too much gin, very little bucket
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
