Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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