i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
