I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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