last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
