Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
PANTIES FOUND
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