Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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