i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize