Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
