i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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