The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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