if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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