I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
