dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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