Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
