Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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