i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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