Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
