let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
