put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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