OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
