Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
