eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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