She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
