Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
