The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize