My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize