You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
