just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
