I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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