So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
