Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
