just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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