How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
