I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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